من؟ به زعم خودم خیال می‌کردم بلدم مامان بشم این‌جور وقتا. خیال می‌کردم یاد گرفته‌م بگم بیا بغلم قربونت برم که این‌قد خری. دارم نمی‌تونم اما. یه جاهایی هرقدرم دلم بخواد نمی‌تونم. نمی‌کنم. می‌دونم زخمه دوباره چرک می‌کنه دهنمو صاف می‌کنه. می‌دونم دلم صاف نمی‌شه. اون قاطر درونم باید رام شده باشه که نشده. قبلنا بلد بودم ادای آدمای کول رو دربیارم. الان اما دلم نمی‌خواد. با قاطره روراستم و بهش بها می‌دم، به درست یا غلط. این‌جا حوصله ندارم مامان باشم. اگه قراره سیستمه کار نکنه، بذار کار نکنه. روراست بودن با خودم و دل‌چرکین نبودن از خودم و پانسمان تمیز الان برام در اولویته. یه مرز باریک و غلط‌انداز،  بین قهر و روراستی و لج‌بازی و سفسطه و احترام به خود.

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